January 14, 2008 at 11:14 pm · Filed under television
Stop me if you’ve seen this before, the slow pan up the desk to reveal “Guy Jones, Private Investigator” on the name plate. The camera swings around behind the desk, so the silhouette of a female can be seen through the window of the door. The door creaks open, and the camera works from the floor, to face of the room’s new entry, a face that’s always slightly covered by a hat or a shadow, something to give that extra air of mystery. The private investigator leans forward in the chair, because he knows, that he’s the only one who can help out the beautiful damsel in distress.
It’s fairly easy to see why a guy would want to put himself in the shoes of the P.I. in the preceding example. It’s the same reason that guys enjoy watching shows like _Mad Men_: even those that are too young to remember the 60s still dream of the office where the guys sit around, smoke cigars, and have a glass of scotch with the guys after work. Modern shows like _Boston Legal_ continue this trend with their scotch shipping, cigar smoking, balcony end scenes. The time of cigars after work and P.I.s helping the damsel in distress might have passed us by, but television seems to want to bring some of those themes to the forefront, though with a slightly modern twist.
Over the past few years, a number of shows have tried adding “unique” spins to the classic private investigator formula. It started with _Angel_, the vampire with a soul, who opened up _Angel Investigations_ in, appropriately, the “city of Angels_”. The Sci-Fi channel tried their hand at the modern P.I. genre with their adaptation of the Jim Butcher series of books, _The Dresden Files_, a story of a wizard working as P.I. and police consultant in Chicago. Late last year, CBS threw its proverbial hat into the ring with _Moonlight_, a story of a vampire P.I., living in Los Angeles (yes, that does look familiar, however, comparing those to shows is not the purpose of this piece). Having seen every single episode of the three shows just mentioned, it’s time to take a look at FOX’s latest offering to the modern P.I. world, _New Amsterdam_.
To start off with a little bit of a technicality, the lead character of _New Amsterdam_, John Amsterdam, is not technically a P.I., he’s a homicide detective. This doesn’t stop the show from having some classic P.I. hooks, most noticeably the main character giving a slight narration as a story progresses (something that occurred both _The Dresden Files_ and _Moonlight_, but was absent from _Angel_). What separates Amsterdam from your average detective is his immortality. (The rest of this paragraph is going to explain how he acquired his immorality, so move on if you want to have that revealed in the context of the show.) The back story follows the tale of young John Amsterdam when he first crossed over to the New World. During a battle with Indians, Amsterdam prevents one of his fellow soldiers from slaughtering a helpless female, and receives a sword through the chest for his trouble. As a reward for his honor, the Indian female uses some form of magic to grant Amsterdam immortality, including freedom from aging, until he “[finds] the one and [their] souls are wed”. It is explained that he will feel it in his heart when he meets “The One”.
Since an average TV show lasts about 43 minutes when the commercials are stripped out, it’s always a good sign when you pause the show for the first time and find there’s only 5 minutes left. Unfortunately, with _New Amsterdam_, I was checking the time remaining when there was 30 minutes left. The show tries to do a lot: setting up the back story, establishing John’s role in the world, laying out the negatives associated with immortality, and yes, introducing “The One”. Oh, and there’s a semi-straight forward murder mystery involving a real estate developer, the developer’s son (who reveals his sexuality for no compelling plot reason), the developer’s mistress, and the boy who loves the mistress. Looking at that setup, it’s probably not too hard to figure out the mystery. In fact, it seemed rather tacked on to the show, as if the show was moving into and out of that story in sharp, abrupt turns.
The main problem with the pilot, however, wasn’t the plot (though it sure didn’t help), it was that the lead character just was not particularly compelling. Yes, he’s immortal, but its not his immortality that helps him solve the case, it’s just his vast knowledge. Though it’s impressive that he know so much, mostly because he was around for it, the things he knows could have just as easily been known by someone who was well versed in local history. Adding to the problem is that Nikolaj Coster-Waldau does not light up the screen like David Boreanez did in _Angel_ and does in _Bones_. Coster-Waldau isn’t in the same league as the star of NBC’s _Life_, Damien Lewis. And without the ability to suddenly throw out magic (like Harry Dresden in _The Dresden Files_) or go full-on vampire (like Mick St. John in _Moonlight_), Coster-Waldau’s John Amsterdam is pretty much just a walking encyclopedia who has a near death experience when a pretty doctor gets off the subway. Unfortunately, his spouting off with “To be human is to die” and “dying is what makes life worth living” do not help his cause.
Since _Angel_ went off the air, I’ve been hoping for something to come along and takes its place. A show that has a strong lead character who ,when push comes to shove, can throw down with anyone. Someone who isn’t afraid to get into areas of grey, even dark grey, when fighting the proverbial “good fight”. Oh, and that person having cool power like immortality wouldn’t hurt. FOX’s _New Amsterdam_ falls pretty far short of those goals. Instead of waiting to see if _New Amsterdam_ can gain its footing in this strike shortened season, it would be much wiser to catch up on the BBC’s _Torchwood_, with lead actor John Barrowman playing time traveler and former con man Jack Harkness, who nearly fits my 3 point criteria from the opening sentences. At least that way, you’ll have a James Marsters appearance to look forward to.
We’ll start off this recap by examining some of the “produced” segments. The first such segment, entitled _Feature Story_ featured an interview with John Edwards. It was a pretty predictable affair as he’s getting his hair cut, has a facial mask on, cucumbers on his eyes, etc…all while talking about the concept of his “two Americas”. The other “in-studio” segment was dealt with the issue of immigration. It was a parody on the typical “immigration debate” staged on cable news shows, where they put a true expert on the topic up versus someone who just spouts populist rhetoric. The rhetoric, of course, is a big winner with the crowd and the expert hardly gets a word in. The final produced segment was a “man on the street” type segment, where the question was asked, “would you vote for a black man?” This was then taken to extreme by asking things like “would you vote for a leper?”, “would you vote for a dwarf?”…resulting in nearly everyone answering “yes” to all questions, except “would you vote for a woman?” which would got some mixed results.
The interlude segments this week were fairly strong. The _Hollywood Helping Humanity_ featured Ryan Ziering asking for people to “donate their unused Carbs” while the ACLU commercial explained how they sued to back up the University of North Carolina in the university’s effort to make all their students study the Koran. The “Guy White, Closet Conservative” cartoon wasn’t the best one I’ve seen, dealing with Guy deciding to announce to the company he was a conservative, but ultimately backing down.
Dennis Miller’s _The Buck Stops Here_ lacked a cohesive theme this week, instead going for a bunch of quick hitters. He discussed Hillary’s War Vote and her confusing spin of it, how liberals say “but” while moderates say “however”, and how the killing of the terrorists before they kill us can be though of as “pre-emptive universal health care”. Overall, it wasn’t close to his stinging cristism of Harry Reid and was more in line with his earlier efforts that were on the weaker side.
The news segments on the Half Hour News Hour have been strong through my last few viewings and this week was no exception. It seems like both of the co-hosts are really getting their timing down and Jennifer Robertson (who goes by “Jennifer Lang” on the show) has really taken her performance up a notch from when the show started. Some joke highlights include: Rosie moving up the terrorist priority list due to the al-Qaeda in Iraq’s leader being captured, Gore’s Daughter’s wedding having more people at it than his _Live Earth_, Rudy writing his “Prenup with America”, a Democratic debate focusing on Gay issues will be done as a musical, and the coup de grace: Democrats plan to show how serious they are about the war on terror, by promising to have more sleepovers.
With a few shows under their belt, the crew of the 1/2 Hour News Hour seem to working out which segments are simple one shots and which segments will be recurring. In this particular episode, we get 2 recurring segments: “The Evolving Male” and “Conspiracy Corner.” “The Evolving Male” has the same male character as last week, but this time discussing his relationship with his son instead of his relationship with his wife. It’s fairly predictable stuff, talk about how he doesn’t consider himself a “parent”, that he and his son are “equals” and though he doesn’t “toss a baseball” at his son, he does toss “life choices.” As you can imagine, the kid is uninterested and disrespectful. Meanwhile, this week’s “Conspiracy Corner” tackled the issue of the the levee breaks after Hurricane Katrina. The “conspiracy” is that the levees broke because of massive rainfall, that resulted in flooding. Though the host for this segment is a little over the top, his recounting of some the real conspiracy theories (how do we know the levees weren’t blown up under water?) was a pretty solid enumeration of some of the garbage that’s thrown out there surrounding the national disaster.
The one brand new segment that ran throughout the show dealt with being “carbon neutral” and using compact fluorescent light bulbs. This segment illustrated one of the issues not commonly brought up when discussing how much more “electrically efficient” CFLs are, namely, CFL lightbuls contain a fairly significant quantity of mercury. The segment showed how breaking one of these bulbs can result in such measures as calling in a ‘haz-mat” crew or having to have your own person be decontaminated. In addition to this segment, there were two commercials: (1) a “Hollywood Helping Humanity” commercial, congratulated Joey Buttafucco and Amy Fisher on getting back together and (2) an “ACLU” commercial that points how the ACLU forced Los Angels county to remove a cross from their county seal, as well as another “Guy White, Closet Conservative” cartoon, which was rather forgettable.
The news segments this week continued the strong run they’ve had over the past few weeks. They touched on how a judge would not allow an Al Qaeda terrorist to be held without formal criminal charges (”So he can now return to flight school”), on what constitutes “Spring Break in Gaza”, a few shots on Kevin Federline and Paris Hilton, and a nice little crack on Dennis Kucinich.
Dennis Miller finished of the show with his _The Buck Starts Here_ segment. Though not quite the verbal beat down he put on Harry Reid last week, Miller had solid run down of the religious zealotry of those who believe in man-made “global warming.” He broke down how people who oppose this religion are known as “deniers” and stated his wish that those on the far left were as serious about fighting the war on terror as they are at fighting against those that they feel are effecting the planet’s climate in some way. Overall, it was a solid way, to end a solid show.
After a strong showing last week, the 1/2 Hour News Hour did a pretty good job on their follow up effort. The overall solid show however, is overshadowed by Dennis Millers’ _The Buck Starts Here_ segment, a segment that absolutely annihilated the Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid. Though I will describe the video, it’s truly something that you have to see for yourself:
Miller piles on Reid, from calling him a “dim bulb”, saying his speech “oozes like a stuck chalk gun”, and even throwing in a Dorian Gray reference for good measure. Up until this point, I’ve found Miller’s segments to be rather stale, but he clearly brought his “A” game this week, in explanation of how a “hack like [Reid]” could be in a position of leadership.
The news segments this week were on par with the high quality news segments from last week. Jokes included takes on: Paris Hilton heading back to jail, Hillary Clinton turning to faith in time of crisis (and Bill not being able to remember Faith’s last name), Castro looked trim and healthy…standing next to Michael Moore, Dennis Kucinich being more popular than the “TB Airplane Guy”, and one particular joke that drew a mixed crowd reaction: “A recent study shows 71% of College Girls are sexually active…the rest…just lie there…”
Though not as good as Dennis Miller’s segment, the other “skit” segments were pretty strong. The best was a segment dealing with “The Evolving Male,” i.e. a man who was more in touch with his feminine side so he could better relate to his wife. The looks on the wife’s face as the husband explained his marriage style were priceless, and gave a good setup for when he busted out with “will you grow a pair!” The opening segment was also fairly solid, in it featured a producer / agent who were trying to convince the show’s hosts to do more “moderate” jokes. When the hosts refused, the agent leaned over, pulled off his mask and turned out to be Rush Limbaugh. Not an earth shattering segment by any means, but a solid way to start the show.
For the 2nd week in a row, the 1/2 Hour News Hour put on a solid performance with some really funny moments. Odds are, the Dennis Miller piece will get some media play and therefore there should be an audience spike next week to see what the show is all about. If the show keeps up on its current pace, I’d bet that the people tuning in next week will be watching the following week too.
After taking a few weeks to gain some more solid footing, the 1/2 Hour News Hour took a giant leap forward this week with a very, very solid show. The news segments were solid, the skits were better, the commercials were more concise, and most importantly, there was no glaring “weak” moment that brought the rest of the show down.
Looking first at some of the skits, the “Rush as President” bits are solid, mostly because of Rush’s larger than life presence. He carries the scenes even if the material isn’t exactly exciting. The second “skit” was the “Feature Story” that discussed Jimmy Carter’s “Ex-presidential” legacy. Basically, a presidential “historian” came on and explained all the great that happened as a result of Jimmy carter leaving office (Iran freeing the hostages, the US winning the Cold War, etc…) saying it wasn’t Ronald Reagan who accomplished these things, rather they were accomplished as part of the Jimmy Carter “Ex-Presidency.” The money line came when asked “So, if Jimmy Carter’s going to take credit for all the positive things that happened after he left office, shouldn’t he be held responsible for 9-11 too?” The response: “Come on, everyone knows that 9-11 happened during the Clinton Ex-Presidency.” The final skit that deserves mention was an interview with a representative from “Americans against Guns.” This man claimed that he had been the victim of shootings on multiple occasions (A old lady when he tried to take her purse, a home owner when he tried to steal things from the home owner’s home, and a bank guard when he tried to rob a bank.) “People having guns make it unsafe for us common criminals!” I completely agree.
The new segments this week were particularly strong as well with jokes concerning: Miss USA being booed at the Miss Universe pageant in Mexico city (her talent was building a 700 mile fence), the UN responding my Islamo-Fascism by sending a really strong letter, Mitt Romney being willing to donate his presidential salary but John Edwards keeping it and “feeling really guility”, Steve Jobs thinking Al Gore would make a good president since Steve “wrote Al’s Software” (there was an “Al-Pod” reference in the background), and a few jokes about Rosie O’Donnell quitting the view and Paris Hilton heading to prison. Overall, the new segments were very high quality.
The show once again finished up with Dennis Miller’s _The Buck Starts Here_, which was okay with some Gitmo reference and his referring to President Bush as a “waits for the DVD to come out” kind of guy. Though Dennis has yet to really find his stride, it looks the rest of the show might have, or, at the very least, is on the right track to.
The quick take on this week’s 1/2 Hour News Hour is that it wasn’t as good as last weeks. Though there weren’t the clear low points that last week had (namely, the pregnant lawyer sketch), there were not nearly as many laugh out loud, rolling on the floor laughing moments either.
The news segments were a good summation of the show overall, pretty even keel with no real ups and no real downs. Some jokes included: A Hotel replacing the bible with AlGore’s _An Inconvient Truth_ (a book that no one would ever want to steal), The Fort Dix Six meeting on the CBS Evening News (as a way to make sure no one would watch them), and John Edwards unable to find his financial records in his new 28,000 sq ft. mansion.
The “commercial” segments once again contained an ACLU commercial (this dealing with the ACLU’s efforts to prevent people from celebrating Christmas in the public square) and a commercial for the new _Commemorative Surrender Plates_. This commercial was pretty solid, highlighting the various actions by members of the Democrat Party that are road marks on their way to trying to force the United States to surrender to the terrorists in Iraq. These include: Murtha having the troops “re-deploy” to Okinawa, Nancy Pelosi traveling to Syria to meet with their dictator, and Harry Reid declaring the war is lost.
The longer segments were okay. A segment with a fake press consultant who appeared to have a man-crush on John Edwards was fairly lame, but a segment where Lorenzo Lamas explained his “9-11 conspiracy theory” (i.e. that terrorists flew airplanes into builds on 9-11) was a good way to highlight the kooks that believe the various theories about how “9-11 was an inside job” or any of that other garbage. In the final segment, Dennis Miller’s “The Buck Starts Here” was much stronger than last week, especially his explanation of how setting a date certain for withdrawal in Iraq is completely illogical.
The this episode of the Half Hour News hour didn’t have the highlights that the first episode did, it also didn’t have the low lights that brought last weeks show down. On a scale of 1-6, I’d have to say this episode was about 4.
Last Night was the first “non-pilot” episode of the ½ Hour News Hour. Overall, the show had some solid moments, a weak segment or two, but ultimately was a fairly solid ½ hour of laughs.
The show started off with an ad that was making fun of your traditional motor sport / monster truck rally (“Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!”) that was pitting the Rutgers Women’s Basketball team v. the Duke Men’s Lacrosse team. Let’s just say, the show started off slow.
The next segment was the first of 2 “quick hit” news segments. The closet comparison for these would be Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update” segments. Just some quick highlights from the two segments:
“Part of the reason Al Gore’s house electric bill seems so high, is that people don’t understand how much power it takes to recharge him.
“Upon hearing about the potential attacks on our soldiers at Fort Dix, Harry Reid demanded an immediate withdrawal of all troops from Fort Dix”
“George Tenet stated that no one regretted his decision to state Iraq had nuclear weapons more than he did….well, maybe one person did [cut to picture of Sadam]”
“People say Fred Thompson’s portrayal of a racist in a movie 20 years ago might hurt him in a presidential race…especially in “unable to tell TV from reality” demographic”
There were 2 other commercial segments: (1) A commercial making fun of the ACLU and the ACLU’s support for child molesters living near schools, (2) a commercial for Oxy-Clinton, a drug that counter acts the various negative attributes of Mrs. Bill Clinton’s presence. Commercial (2) was highlighted by an appearance by Laura Ingraham as the doctor presenting the drug. Laura, looking absolutely gorgeous in her lab coat, proceeded to list some of the side effects of taking Oxy-Clinton:
High Taxes
Massive Unemployment
Riots
Chaos
Total Breakdown of the American Healthcare System
Overall, commercial (2) was in the running for the best segment of the show.
The news / special report segments went 1 for 3, an acceptable batting average in baseball, but leaving room for improvement as far as the show goes. Starting first with the low point, a segment dealing with a pregnant lawyer who ultimately “gave birth” to twins during the segment. There’s not much to say beyond this segment being a train wreck. A segment asking the question “How can we blame the Kansas Tornado on President Bush?” was fairly solid, with responses such as “His lack of attention to global warming” and “having all our national guard equipment in Iraq.” The best special report segment, which aired the earliest of the three, dealt with sexual harassment in the work place, and featured a sexy “reporter-ette” demonstrating female on male harassment to the male co-host. The skit reached its pinnacle when the male host rolled his chair back and asked “What about Female on Female Harassment? How would that work?” I strongly suggest hitting up youtube to view this segment.
The final segment was some Dennis Miller stand up. I paused to write down some of his jokes, but a number of them I had heard in his specials before. Basically, if you’ve ever seen Dennis Miller on anything, you know what to expect.
The ½ Hour News Hour got off to a good start with its first “non-pilot” issue. Though it had some rough spots, it gave a number of solid laughs over its 30 minutes. After years of being the butt of jokes from the liberal media, it’s good to see that conservatives can dish it out too. In fact, like on most things, The !/2 Hour News Hour shows how conservatives can do more than just hold their own with liberals, conservatives can out perform them.
